Points System to Romance a Woman Back   Home  
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In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system...
Simple Duties
You make the bed+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets-1
You leave the toilet seat up-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom-2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light pantyliners with wings+5
But return with beer-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something+5
You pummel it with a six iron+10
It's her father-10
Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts-5
You spend a lot of money on something impractical-5
Something she can't use-10
Such as a motorized model airplane-20
And she got a small appliance for her birthday-40
You lost the directions on a trip-4
You lost the directions and end up getting lost-10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town-15
You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close and personal-25
You know them-60
The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?"
(Sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
You hesitate in responding-10
You reply, "Where?"-35
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes+5
You listen for more than 30 min. without looking at the TV+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep-20
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy-2
Named Tiffany-4
Tiffany is a dancer-6
Tiffany has implants-8
When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at her lovingly+1
When mingling, you introduce her as "the ol' ball and chain" and pat her on the rump-5
When your mate points toward a hot-looking woman and asks you if you think she is attractive, you say, "Yes, but nowhere near as attractive as you"+1
When your mate points to a woman and asks if you think she's attractive, you say, "Yeah, but she's lousy in bed"-6
That woman is her sister-90
You have one drink, and that's it0
You have more than a few & perform the tango with a poodle-2
You have a lot of drinks, vaguely remember being fingerprinted-18
Saturday Afternoon
You go to the mall together+3
You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then park the car+4
You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then drive to a sports bar-2
You spend the day shopping for furniture and pretend to like it+3
You spend the day shopping for furniture, and nap on a sectional0
You spend the day at a wholesale club, buying in bulk+3
Most of it chips and beer-6
You tackle a large household project, such as painting the den+15
Or refinishing the floors+16
Or rewiring the basement+17
Or adding a second floor+18
Or setting up a Nerf Ball hoop over the bathroom wastebasket-6
And you're tickled pink about it-15
You visit her parents0
You visit her parents and actually make conversation+3
You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television-3
And the television is off-6
You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear-6
And you didn't even go to college-10
And it's not your underwear-15
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar+1
Okay, it is a sports bar-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team-10
You go to a nice, pricey restaurant & hire a guitar player+3
You go to a pricey restaurant, hire a guitar player and get up and sing+4
If you stink+2
If you're not half bad+5
You get up and sing a Barry Manilow song, and you're escorted out to much applause-2
You give her a gift0
You give her a gift and it's a small appliance-10
You give her a gift and it's not a small appliance+1
You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate+2
You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months+30
You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day-10
With her credit card-30
And whatever you bought is two sizes too big-40
You forget her birthday completely-20
You forget your anniversary-30
You forget to pick her up at the bus station-45
Which is in NewYork, New Jersey-50
And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast-60
A Night Out With The Boys
Go out with a pal-5
And the pal is happily married-4
Or frighteningly single-7
And he drives a Mustang-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)-15
You have a few beers-9
And miss curfew by an hour-12
You miss curfew by an hour and you didn't call-20
You get home at 3 am-30
You get home at 3 am smelling of booze and cheap cigars-40
And not wearing any pants-50
Is that a tattoo??-200
Her Night Out
You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friend from work+5
She goes out with her annoying work friends, and she comes home late+10
You wait up+15
She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put her to bed+20
A Night At Home
You watch TV together0
You rent a movie+2
You rent a movie and it's SENSE & SENSIBILITY+3
It's SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you stay awake throughout+5
It's SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you fall asleep-1
It's SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you fall asleep and drool-2
A Night Out
You take her to a movie+2
You take her to a movie she likes+4
You take her to a movie you hate+6
You take her to a movie you like-2
It's called DeathCop 3-3
Which features cyborgs having sex-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans-15
You buy her flowers only when it's expected0
You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it+20
You give her wildflowers you've actually picked yourself+30
And she contracts Lyme disease-25
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Published in lotsofjokes.com Source : Unknown