- Every man should have a girl for love, companionship and sympathy, said a wise and mature bachelor, "and preferably at three different addresses," he added.
- "I heard they now make bread out of potatoes." "That's nothing. Women can make monkeys out of men."
- But she is very economical. She had only 26 candles on her 40th birthday cake.
- When you're bored with yourself, marry and be bored with someone else.
- If your wife doesn't treat you as she should - be thankful.
- English law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is the limit of useless legislation.
- A wedding usually means showers for the bride and curtains for the groom.
- A college girl may be poor in history, but great on dates.
- Marriage is an attempt to change a night owl into a homing pigeon.
- I'm a married man and I can't ask for a better wife - but I would like to.
- There are two kinds of friends: those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you.
- Marrage defined: A boy losses his bachalors degree while girls gets her masters.
- "Don't you and your wife ever have different opinions?" "Sure, but I don't tell her about them.
- For five & twenty years I've had my eye on Jim; And if he won't marry me, I'll marry him.
- "I heard your wife is an after-dinner speaker." "Don't be silly. She can't wait that long."
- Marriage, at best, is but a vow, Which all men either break, or bow.
- "How can you live without a wife?" "Much cheaper."
- An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt. A married man has no shirt.
- There is hardly a woman in this country who hasn't been asked to marry atleast twice. Once by her mother and once by her father.
- It was a novel party. Every man brought his own wife.
- I know of a fella who got called by the Income Tax Deptt. because he listed three blondes under Living Expenses. They asked him: "That's Living?" And he said: "You better believe it!"
- A gossip is a person who believes much more than she hears.
- "Did my wife say anything when you called and said I would be working late at the office?" asked the executive, muzzling his ravishing secretary. "The only thing she said was," answered the secretary, "Can I count on it?"
- "I'm going to get a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months. "Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get."
Publised in jeevansaathi.com.