There is a general feeling in the public that IIT (Indian Institute of Technology) students are fundu, unassumingly lost in thought almost all the time. And girls fare no better in this respect. So let us see what a Non IIScain may face when he marries a girl from our campus. |
SCENE: First night of the marriage.
CHARACTERS: IIT Bride and Non IIT Groom.
The Groom approaches the Bride and proposes to kiss her. So let us see what would be her reaction..
GIRL FROM DEPT OF PHYSICS: 'Well kissing is relative. You can kiss me with respect to me or with respect to you. First define how you are going to kiss. You can kiss me by treating me in the same reference frame as you are or treating me in a different inertial frame by producing waves of motion through your lips. How do you prefer?'
The guy faints.
GIRL FROM DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: 'Kissing is fine. You can kiss me provided you satisfy the following conditions.
Necessary conditions: You should be close to me by a distance delta where delta is greater than zero and the limit for delta tends to zero and you satisfy the closure property.
Sufficient conditions: You should have lips, where the number of lips is neither more than two nor less than two. You can also kiss by defining your hand to be me if and only if you satisfy the above conditions.'
The guy goes mad.
GIRL FORM ECOLOGICAL SCIENCES: 'Oh Kissing, that is interesting phenomena that occurs in nature. This is an initiating process for sex not only found in homo sapiens but also in all heterosapiens, mammals, camels, vertebrates invertebrates and insects. Out of 1000 ants observed in a closed laboratory in Zuvinich in Yugoslavia 90% of them seem to involve in the process of kissing but the subsequence is very random with probability 0.672139 that a male ant kiss female ant. First observe the behaviour of ants and cockroaches under various conditions. That will be very interesting, wouldn't it?'
The guy has an heart attack.
GIRL FROM SERC(Super computer Education and Research Centre): 'You want to kiss me. That is fine I assume that you know the algorithm for that very well. But you have to complete the process within 56.22 seconds or else connection will be timed out. To optimize the timing lets do parallel processing. As we have to discuss about our future and other things, let us do the process of discussion foreground and why can't you put the process of Kissing background?'
The guy applies for divorce.