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Sign in a bar:
"Those drinking to forget........ please pay in advance."
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.
Some people kiss with both eyes closed. Too bad they marry the same way.
A Spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.
Smoking helps you lose weight ... one lung at a time!
When I read about the evils of drinking...I gave up reading.
My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses... He drinks straight out of the bottle.
I always leave an empty milk carton is the refrigerator just in case someone wants black coffee.
Getting caught is the mother of invention.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is the fact that it has never tried to contact us.
Sent by Mr.Venu Annam