- Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
- George Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.
Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.
Candide: To cultivate its garden.
- Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
- Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.
- Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
- TS Eliot: Weialala leia / Wallala leialala.
- TS Eliot (revisited): Do I dare to cross the road?
- Sigmund Freud: The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.
- Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by.
- Adolf Hitler: It needed Lebensraum.
- Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
- Martin Luther King: It had a dream.
- Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.
- Gregor Mendel: To get various strains of roads.
- John Milton: To justify the ways of God to men.
- Alfred E. Neumann: What? Me worry?
- Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
- Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
- Ronald Reagan: I forget.
- William Shakespeare: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.
- Socrates: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.
- Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
- Margaret Thatcher: There was no alternative.
- George Washington: Actually it crossed the Delaware with me back in 1776. But most history books don't reveal that I bunked with a birdie during the duration.
- William Wordsworth: To have something to recollect in tranquility.
- Paul de Man: The chicken did not really cross the road because one side and the other are not really opposites in the first place.
- Paul de Man: (uncovered after his death) So no one would find out it wrote for a collaborationist Belgian newspaper during the early years of World War II.
- Eddie Murphy: To get to the fucking other side
- The Sphinx: You tell me.
Published in www.oraclehumor.com