Why did the chicken cross the road? Back   Home  
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  • Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

  • George Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights. Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer. Candide: To cultivate its garden.

  • Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

  • Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.

  • Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

  • TS Eliot: Weialala leia / Wallala leialala.

  • TS Eliot (revisited): Do I dare to cross the road?

  • Sigmund Freud: The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.

  • Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by.

  • Adolf Hitler: It needed Lebensraum.

  • Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

  • Martin Luther King: It had a dream.

  • Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.

  • Gregor Mendel: To get various strains of roads.

  • John Milton: To justify the ways of God to men.

  • Alfred E. Neumann: What? Me worry?

  • Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

  • Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

  • Ronald Reagan: I forget.

  • William Shakespeare: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.

  • Socrates: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.

  • Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

  • Margaret Thatcher: There was no alternative.

  • George Washington: Actually it crossed the Delaware with me back in 1776. But most history books don't reveal that I bunked with a birdie during the duration.

  • William Wordsworth: To have something to recollect in tranquility.

  • Paul de Man: The chicken did not really cross the road because one side and the other are not really opposites in the first place.

  • Paul de Man: (uncovered after his death) So no one would find out it wrote for a collaborationist Belgian newspaper during the early years of World War II.

  • Eddie Murphy: To get to the fucking other side

  • The Sphinx: You tell me.
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Published in www.oraclehumor.com
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